Chez Soi

Adventures of a Year Abroad

New Digs

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New Digs

Living in Paris is a dream come true in so many ways.  When it came to looking at apartments, we were drawn to this, or even this. But alas, our dream doesn’t come with a limitless budget. (drat!)

We used a site called “book-a-flat” recommended by friend Katie Stanton. It offers furnished apartments in Paris, which is important because “unfurnished” literally means a pipe coming out of a wall as the kitchen. I couldn’t imagine needed to build a kitchen while we were learning the language. So book-a-flat it was. Plus, they speak fluent English. We spent hours surfing the site to see what resonated. Some apartments had tons of tilted angles which seemed charming at first, but I was fairly sure it would be less charming if one of us got a concussion from running into a (weird) wall. At one point, we fell in love with a mirage. It was an apartment where the Eiffel Tower was framed perfectly in the master bedroom window. Imagine waking up to that view?! Every day!! And it had a terrace where we could invite over friends for wine. I imagined acting totally nonchalant about it — like, ‘oh, yes, that view, no big deal.’ but inside I’d be doing the cha-cha. But, it was well 2,000 euros (or, 2800 bucks) more than our already-raised budget. Gah.

When Neri was visiting us recently in California, she got us to think more practically (how many minutes to school, you need more doors if you will work in same space, where are heck the closets?) which helped us narrow the field to 3 choices.

Curt had the smart idea to walk the neighborhoods on the 2nd day we were there. Two of the 3 apartments we had picked were in the 8th (closer to the schools) and one in the 7th. But when we saw the 8th neighborhoods in person, we realized that the local grocer, and restaurants would be on the Champs Elysees, aka tourist central. This was not what any of us imagined as “home”. But it took us a few minutes to say anything. Finally, we all raised a collective ‘blech’ to that idea.

We ended up with the place in the 7th arrondissement, a quiet neighborhood, and minutes from things we love. We had originally hoped for 3 bedrooms so we could afford guests, but we couldn’t swing it even after raising our budget by 1,000 bucks. Our new plan is to find a reasonably priced hotel somewhere nearby to direct our friends. And, of course had hoped for some view, but that was also outside the budget. We ended up optimizing for every day life. It is five minutes to the d’orsay museum, and seven to the Rodin. And 38 minutes to walk to school, 17 via the metro. The new place is about 1,100 square feet, which is quite small when compared to our home in Los Gatos (nearly 2400 square feet with a yard, and a 2-car garage), but it’s plenty.

This, by the way, is kiddo’s bathroom. Oooh, la, la.

Apartment bathroom


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The path to school

As of Thursday, we’ve chosen a school that “gets” kiddo and we all like.

The path to this was long in coming. We had asked many friends of friends that had been to Paris for extended stays what school they chose, and why. The EABJM Jeannine Manuel kept showing up. We learned it was an elite private school, known for it’s academically strong bilingual program. Back in June, 2013, we had done a 2nd school tour (where we ran into a lovely friend, Katie Stanton, and her family — a delightful surprise for everyone!), and kiddo really liked it as compared to the small friendly school we compared it to in the 9th (the WI program) The science program was rich, with independent lab areas, and the art program made me want to register. It was clear it would be demanding, but seemed worth it.

We applied.

Aaaaaaand got rejected. Hence, this Post over on FB on a Friday afternoon…

A great friend, Susan McPherson, reached out after seeing the ambiguous news, and asked if she (or her partner Fabien) could help. Nothing like having friends from across the country help you get back up off the ground.

This gave us an idea to get an appt with EABJM; one part was to plead our case, the second was to learn why. Only after that appt with the director of admissions, Madame Bosc, did we share the (bad) news with kiddo. EABJM expects kids — even boys at kiddo’s age — to be “self-managing” and thought he had a “bad attitude”. Hubster and both I felt our chin tremble a little. His 5th grade teacher, however, said to shake it off, saying that kiddo has yet to develop the study habits he needs and is still learning.  She felt very strongly that kiddo LOVES school and loves to learn, but he gets bored easily by the public school curriculum (and hasn’t yet figured out how to manage that boredom, and direct it in positive ways).

In the end, getting rejected turns out to be a near-miss that helped us find the better path for us.

Madame Bosc directed us to another school that would “get” him better, Hattemer. And other friends and extended network who live or have lived in Paris all helped identify other schools. Gotta love the network. And the help. Although many people pointed us to Marymount and the ISP, those were programs that would keep him in an American-bubble. If we wanted that, we should probably stay home. Which would be both cheaper and easier. Eurocole was identified as a great French program with a strong bilingual program, along with Victor Hugo.

We scheduled the three visits. By the time we got to Hattemer, we knew we had found a winner.

Kiddo chose Hattemer even though it meant a tougher academic program and a haaaaaaaard path ahead — it requires learning French intensely this summer so he can have a running chance at the program. So, so proud of him and his courage.

Probably the tipping point for us parents was learning Hattemer’s philosophy at the school is to address the kids in the formal and more respectful vous vs the more informal (and slightly condescending) tu. It is a small sign of a big choice — they want to regard the kids for who they are, and what each distinctly has to bring. That’s quite (!) a novel approach for French schools.

Image

We still have some paperwork to do, but we’re settled. Phew. Our new path to school is in the picture — crossing the Soferino footbridge, as we head towards the Tuileries, with the Louvre in the background.

Do I smell Freesias?

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Do I smell Freesias?

We landed yesterday at about noon local time, then took the RER B into central Paris, switching at the LesHalles station to Metro 4. We wish we had a picture of how ridiculously crowded it was (on a Sunday?) but we were too focused on just getting on the train with each other, and our luggage.

After getting to the hotel near St. Suplice and dropping off luggage, we head out into town to grab some lunch and see how long we could last before conking out. Kiddo got Entrecote for lunch (big surprise, right?) and I was able to order a salad even though it wasn’t on the menu because the waiter spoke beautiful English.

We walked to the river near Quai des Grand Augustin, and then stopped by Rue de Buci in the St Germain des Pres area, and picked up some burgundy tulips and yellow Freesias for our room. I think we lasted till 4 p.m. but I can’t say fersure since I was the first to be counting sheep.

90 days and Holy **it.

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90 days and Holy **it.

Yesterday, we agreed with a tenant to lease the house starting July 1. I imagine that if I were still living in the area, I’d be friends with her. She’s Australian (from Brisbane) who now lives in Connecticut. Facebook just hired her and she seems savvy and yet down to earth. Curt hustled and got the property management contract in place all in a day. But it was our original real estate agent who sold us this house, Carol Jean, who gets most credit for helping it come together.

The one surprise thing we agreed to (besides the dog!) is to put our stuff into storage. I imagine friends now coming over to eye our furniture. Or, for us to just gift stuff to live in different homes until we return. All this time to organize furniture for a particular space, and now… time to dismantle it all.

When Neri (Kiddo’s aunt) was staying with us last week, I told her she should look around the house in case there’s anything she wants, and the only thing she wanted was our 60-dollars-a-stem champagne flutes. (Nice taste, girlfriend!) Those took me 10 years of looking to find them so I was not so generous as I might have wished myself to be. I might just ship them with us to Paris. Cause I imagine there might be champagne there. 😉

Paris! (Will that ever get tiring to say I wonder?) Oh my gooooodness, this is getting real.

And, woke up this morning with the tremendous clarity that it’s April 1, which means we’re now on a 90 day lease on life to get out of dodge, and to another country. (ANOTHER COUNTRY!)

Okay, deep breath.


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Home Need Not Be A Place

I must have read this piece a year or so ago, and still refer others to it. It’s by a fellow HBR writer, Gianpiero Petriglieri (an Italian born, French living, etc guy)…

Yet home need not always be a place. It can be a territory, a relationship, a craft, a way of expression. Home is an experience of belonging, a feeling of being whole and known, sometimes too close for comfort. It’s those attachments that liberate us more than they constrain. As the expression suggests, home is where we are from — the place where we begin to be.

via: http://blogs.hbr.org/2012/10/moving-around-without-losing-your-roots/

Kiddo’s question the other day prompted me to find it again. I was born in one place and yet live in another. I’ve lost a sense of my roots. Home is no longer a place to me, but where my loved ones are. The very intimate loved ones I live with, the kids that live away from us but always in our hearts, where our dear friends are (Bainbridge, etc)…


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Who are we…

Yesterday afternoon, I made sure to make the bed, wash the dishes, and put things away neatly because the house was being shown to a potential renter from Connecticut. (Apparently, my closet was a big hit.) It looks like we might have a renter for our house in LG, thanks in large part to the aid of the real estate agent who sold us our home. Still have other people interested, and the lease to finalize but… progress.

As I was relaying all this to Hubster who is traveling for work, Kiddo groaned loudly … which he does anytime (every time?) we discuss the move. I wonder and worry a lot about how this trip affects him. One part of me wants to cocoon him up into a soft protective bubble, so he is never hurt. To give him what he wants which is to stay in the home he’s grown up with, with the friends he already has. And, yet, being insulated would also mean he is buffered from life. I’m reminded of the movie Finding Nemo and a particular dialogue between Dory and Marlin.

Marlin: I promised I’d never let anything happen to him.

Dory: Hmm. That’s a funny thing to promise.

Marlin: What?

Dory: Well, you can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him.

Hubster and I are doing this because we  want something for our son that we never had. It is the gift to understand the world more fully.

And, yet, a part of me wonders, who are we to impose that on him.


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One Down, 3 To Go.

The move is going to require us to do many (many, many) small things but the “big rocks” that are key — having a work visa, getting kiddo in school, finding/renting an apartment in Paris, and of course leasing our place in Los Gatos.

We (finally) got the official clearance that Curt’s work approved his status change to work from Paris. That means he now has a work visa. So 1 thing done, many more to go. But it feels good to cross that one off the list. Whoohooo.